Up or down? Ups and downs.

Today I made a huge decision….I’m going to slow down.

In my mind I had this huge idea that once school was done I’d rush off and find a career and settle down in Toronto with the love of my life and live happily ever after. Now that I’m 7 months away from that I’m starting to realize how much I’ve rushed myself. I’ve never moved away from home. The longest I’ve been away is 2 weeks. I’ve never lived with anyone else aside from my family. I’ve only ever known Montreal as my home. I’ve never worked full time. I’ve never had to handle ALL my finances. Seeing a pattern here? I put this all together and almost had a panic attack.

Why did I rush myself? For some reason I thought that school ending meant that I needed to start my life RIGHT away. Someone forgot to remind me that I’m only 22. I already know exactly what I want to do with my life and I’ve been working towards the career that means the world to me. Most people have no idea what they want to do at my age. They’re still in school for another 3+ years trying to figure it out. Some think they know and spend years at the wrong thing before they decide to make big changes. I’ve decided I want to slow down. Take it month by month. Decide EXACTLY what I want and how I want to do it. I know I’ll end up in Toronto in the near future. I also know my heart lies in the music industry. Most of all I know that my decision to move in with Jason is the right one. When I put all those pieces together I know it fits perfectly. Now to get there I need to make sure I take the right steps and make the right choices.

Maybe it’s because I so desperately want to work in the music field. It’s what I’ve wanted since I was 12 years old and I stepped out of my first concert; Aerosmith at the Bell Center. I’ve been building connections and doing things in the industry since I was 16. Street teaming, promotion, writing etc. That’s why it bothers me so much when people get a job in the field before me, especially when I know they’ve been working at it for less time than me. I’ve finally accepted that when the time comes it will come. I know I’ll work in this industry. I don’t have a doubt in my mind. Rushing it right now and taking the first job that pops up isn’t going to solve anything.

One of my resolutions this year is to become a more positive person. Last year I was very frustrated and negative about finding a job. I whined and complained to Jason A LOT about no one calling me back. You know what? THAT’S LIFE. Sometimes it takes months before you hear anything back. While you wait you have to keep pushing and working at your dream. Nothing should ever stop you. My new attitude is that I’ll intern in the new year. I’ll work my ass off at a company I enjoy. If they hire me then that’s amazing. If they don’t then that’ll just be one more great thing to put on my CV for Toronto. Every little thing you do, every job you take, makes a difference in the long run.

Realizing that I don’t need to rush anything has made me breathe easier. I have my whole life in front of me. There’s going to be a lot of ups and there’s going to be a lot of downs. I’m prepared to fit it with a positive attitude because negativity won’t get you anywhere. You might just annoy more people along the way.



  1. melissa Said:

    Well said girl! You have to do things at your own pace & you’ve already got so much figured out, when you actually go out there and make it WORK, you want to do it RIGHT 🙂

  2. seemefly Said:

    i feel the same way. im rushing everything. and god it freaks me out when i hear someones workin in the job they love before me. my current job is great but its not IT you know. i love you and i believe in you 🙂

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