T-5 Months in Montreal

If I sit here and really let myself absorb the fact that this is most likely my last 5 months living in Montreal, well my head explodes. I haven’t let myself think about it. Mayeb it’s because I just think too much and it’s time that I take a step back and just let things happen. I’ve backed out of this so many times now that it’s taking a huge kick in the pants for me to get my act together. I was on the phone with my brother the other day, who is moving to Australia, and he told me that this is me getting my life together. That I’m finally taking the step and realizing that “I better get my act together now.” Have I mentioned that it’s absolutely terrifying? My desire to finally work in the music industry is overriding how scared I am. I’m tired of applying to places hesitantly here and being scared that I’m going to be asked to transcribe something to French. Don’t get me wrong. As much as I resist I can speak French. I’m just not completely comfortable and why should I work and feel uncomfortable? I want to be able to do the best of my abilities and not be hindered by my language.

I’ve never lived anywhere but in the West Island. This has been my home for the last 22 years. I envy those people who can live spontaneously. Who decide that they want to travel Europe for a year or who decide that they’re up and moving to the West Coast without a moments hesitation. Those are the people who are truly living their lives and I want to be like that to the best of my ability. I know that I will always be an over thinker. I just have to learn how to stop letting my thoughts interfere with my actions. 40% of me is absolutely terrified. 60% of me can’t imagine doing anything else. It helps that we’ll be living an hour outside of the city with my family for 3-6 months to get us on our feet. I’m excited to apply for jobs and internships and finally start making money in the field that I love the most.

That being said I’m living this summer up. Screw work and responsibilities. I want to go to as many concerts as physically possible. I want to take one ridiculously amazing trip. I want to spend as much time with my best friends as I can. Bring on Summer 2012

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