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Clearly I don’t use this one anymore.

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Roots Before Branches.

I don’t think a song has ever defined me so well.

So many things
To do and say
But I can’t seem
To find my way
But I wanna know how
I know
I’m meant
For something else
But first
I gotta find myself
But I don’t know how

Oh, why do
I reach for the stars
When I don’t have wings
To carry me that far?

I gotta have
Roots before branches
To know who I am
Before I know
Who I wanna be
And faith
To take chances
To live like I see
A place in this world
For me

Sometimes
I don’t wanna feel
And forget the pain
Is real
Put my head
In the clouds
Oh, start to run
And then I fall
Seein’
I can’t get it all
Without my feet
On the ground

There’s always a seed
Before there’s a rose
The more that it rains
The more I will grow

I gotta have
Roots before branches
To know who I am
Before I know
Who I wanna be
And faith
To take chances
To live like I see
A place in this world
For me

Whatever comes
I know how to take it
Learn to be strong
I won’t have to fake it
Oh, you’re understandin’
Oh, but when you come
And do it best
There ain’t nothin’
To stoppin’ east to west
(I’m not sure
if this is right)
But I’ll still
Be standing
I’ll be standing

I gotta have
Roots before branches
To know who I am
Before I know
Who I wanna be
And faith
To take chances
To live like I see
A place in this world

I gotta have
Roots before branches
To know who I am
Before I know
Who I wanna be
And faith
To take chances
To live like I see
A place in this world
For me

I gotta have
Roots before branches

Spontaneity

This summer is overwhelming. Last year I complained that nothing good was happening and this year I’m a bit stressed out with the amount of shows actually coming to and around Montreal. That being said I’ve decided I’m not missing out on any of them. You only live once so live it up.

First weekend of June was a roadtrip to Quebec City to see the Hedley guys. Probably one of the most epically amazing days of my life. When everything falls into place so smoothly then you know it’s going to turn things around. It was like 2005-2006  all over again. Something I didn’t think would be possible. It was an opportunity to escape with one of my closest friends and just be girls again. We danced in our hotel rooms. We laughed on the big screens. We giggled in parking lots. I loved every second of it. I don’t regret one second of the last 7 years when it comes to those 4 guys. They’ve changed my life in ways they don’t even know. Here’s to more days like that this summer.

Lately Jason has been trying to convince me to go on a spontaneous roadtrip with him. I always found excuses not to. Not because I didn’t want to be with him but because I felt like work, responsibilities and money would get in my way. On Thursday I attended a funeral. It was my first one in almost 10 years and hopefully my last one for at least another 10. It made me realized that this is the only life I’m going to get. I spend so much of it rationalizing everything and worrying about every detail. I need to get out of that mind set and just be me. So I told Jason to pick a place and we’d go. Fuck my credit card. I’ll figure that out as I go along. He booked NYC for one night and we hopped in a car less than 30 hours later and drove to a city that I’ve always wanted to experience. Even the border guard gave us a funny look when we said we were only going for one day. 12 hours of sitting in a car for about 24 hours of fun.

The drive was quick. We survived getting into the city and even managed to not be honked. We hopped on a bus tour, with the craziest tour guide ever, and got to learn about part of one of the most historical cities in the world. This place just oozes history and stories. The architecture was beautiful as well. It’s nice to see a city trying to preserve their buildings rather then just tearing them down and building new ones in that spot. We wandered Times Square and ate dinner at Olive Garden. We bumped into one of my favorite people on this planet, Josh Groban and I became 10 years old all over again. The next day we took a boat tour around the entire island of Manhattan and paid a visit to Lady Liberty. Smaller then I expected up close. Then we shopped, well I did, like idiots until it was time to leave. Somehow I did a 4 story Forever 21 and only left with two necklaces and a dress. Talent. The drive back was beautiful and everything about the trip just made me happy. I got to disappear for 48 hours with the love of my life. I got to do something so spontaneous that even I couldn’t wrap my head around where I was when I was standing in Times Square. Everyone needs to do this. Just get in your car and go. Book a last second vacation. Nothing feels better then the unexpected things in life.

This coming weekend is a trip to Belleville with a car full of people I love. Then I’m hopping over to Toronto for 3 days with friends to get a glimpse of the MMVA’s and just pay a visit to one of my favorite cities. I need this. I need to just escape from my thoughts for a few months. In August I’ll sit down and try to figure out parts of my life but right now I just need to be a kid again and smile at the little things.

“This next song goes out to all the beautiful girls in the room. I just want to remind you that beauty is so much more than what you see in the mirror, and don’t you ever let anybody else tell you different.” – Jacob Hoggard

We’re our own brat pack.

 

I got the best news this week. After 9 years of listening to The Rocket Summer…I am finally getting the opportunity to see them live. Granted I saw them at Warped tour two summers ago but that was just a partial set. I was introduced to Bryce Avary by a friend in Ontario who sent me his first studio album Calendar Days back in 2003. It was one of my first musical love affairs. There was something about his music and his unique sound that dragged me in almost immediately. Brat Pack actually ended up being the song that sticks out the most in my mind when it comes to my high school years. A small group of us used to constantly blare it. It makes me smile every time.

Unfortunately he rarely ever toured in Montreal. Thankfully that all changes in just over one month along with a new album in almost exactly one month.

 

Music on Repeat

My iTunes is so overloaded with new music right now that I don’t even know what to do. Here’s what’s on repeat at the moment:

Forget the Storm – Tyler Hilton

I bought this album the morning it came out. It’s been a really long time that I’ve had an album on repeat for weeks on end but this one makes the list. I’ve been a big fan of Tyler since his single “Picture Perfect”. A friend of mine from Toronto introduced me to the song back in 2004 and when he started appearing on One Tree Hill I got to experience his music on a different level. This album is hands down my favorite though. You’ll Ask For Me & Jenny have become two of the most played songs on my iTunes. I also can’t get enough of Leave Him which reminds me a bit of Michael Buble. I’ve had Jason listening to this album every single time we get into the car. He’s starting to know all the words now too..a very rare thing. I’m absolutely devastated that I can’t see him on May 19th in Ottawa. Caitlin and I were discussing a  road trip two months before any of these Canadian dates were announced and now both of us will be out of town for it. Looks like we’ll be hopping in a car when we’re both back!

Kids In the Streets – The All American Rejects

This is the first AAR album that I haven’t completely freaked out over. Don’t get me wrong, I still adored some of the songs on first play but their past albums have appealed to me more. When I saw them live a week ago it changed my mind completely. I can’t stop listening to the album now. Someday’s Gone is such a good song to blare on your speakers and I For You is one of the prettiest songs I’ve ever heard. During the interview I also got the chance to tell Tyson how much I adored Heartbeats Slowing Down and he promised to play it live during the show for the first time ever. He did in the encore and I smiled like a little girl for the full 3 minutes. If it takes you some time to get into this album I recommend you keep at it..because it pays off. It’s also so nice to see how much Tyson as matured and despite him still being completely insane, he also knows how to bring himself down.

Walk the Talk EP – William Beckett

I was so heartbroken when I found out The Academy Is… was breaking up. Especially a month before I was supposed to see them in concert. It made it a big easier when I found out that William Beckett would continue to make music. He released his EP a few days ago and it’s just like I expected it to be. His voice is so unique and easy to listen to. I’m so excited to see him on May 13th. I’m also a bit sad that the album is ONLY 4 songs. I’m ready for more!

Love is a Four Letter Word – Jason Mraz

I bought tickets to go see Jason Mraz for the very first time in concert this coming September with Melissa. I don’t even know why I’ve never see him live. I’ve always been a fan of his music and his new album doesn’t disappoint at all. I haven’t had the chance to listen to it a lot yet but so far I’m completely hooked on Everything is Sound and The Woman I Love. Not to mention I can’t get enough of I Won’t Give Up.

On Your Side – A Rocket to the Moon

I am so happy I finally got to see these guys live. It was about 4 years ago that I randomly came across their EP on iTunes. It was only a few songs but I absolutely loved their sound. For some reason I never followed up on their music and didn’t even know that they had a full length album out! So when I saw them open for AAR last week I got to hear their new music. I came home and immediately bought the album off of iTunes. I’ve been driving Jason insane with the replays of Baby Blue Eyes and Like We Used To. I actually almost started crying when I heard Like We Used to Live. The lyrics are heartbreaking. I was also so stoked to see Dakota on the album!

The Slumdon Bridge EP- Yelawolf ft Ed Sheeran

Yeah I went and bought this album on iTunes. There’s something that appeals to me so much when a rapper works with someone who has as beautiful a voice as Ed Sheeran. While Yelawolf is not my choice for artist of the year, he manages to make this EP really neat. I surprised myself by the amount of times I’ve listened to it.

T-5 Months in Montreal

If I sit here and really let myself absorb the fact that this is most likely my last 5 months living in Montreal, well my head explodes. I haven’t let myself think about it. Mayeb it’s because I just think too much and it’s time that I take a step back and just let things happen. I’ve backed out of this so many times now that it’s taking a huge kick in the pants for me to get my act together. I was on the phone with my brother the other day, who is moving to Australia, and he told me that this is me getting my life together. That I’m finally taking the step and realizing that “I better get my act together now.” Have I mentioned that it’s absolutely terrifying? My desire to finally work in the music industry is overriding how scared I am. I’m tired of applying to places hesitantly here and being scared that I’m going to be asked to transcribe something to French. Don’t get me wrong. As much as I resist I can speak French. I’m just not completely comfortable and why should I work and feel uncomfortable? I want to be able to do the best of my abilities and not be hindered by my language.

I’ve never lived anywhere but in the West Island. This has been my home for the last 22 years. I envy those people who can live spontaneously. Who decide that they want to travel Europe for a year or who decide that they’re up and moving to the West Coast without a moments hesitation. Those are the people who are truly living their lives and I want to be like that to the best of my ability. I know that I will always be an over thinker. I just have to learn how to stop letting my thoughts interfere with my actions. 40% of me is absolutely terrified. 60% of me can’t imagine doing anything else. It helps that we’ll be living an hour outside of the city with my family for 3-6 months to get us on our feet. I’m excited to apply for jobs and internships and finally start making money in the field that I love the most.

That being said I’m living this summer up. Screw work and responsibilities. I want to go to as many concerts as physically possible. I want to take one ridiculously amazing trip. I want to spend as much time with my best friends as I can. Bring on Summer 2012

Come away to the water

First of all…One Tree Hill I am NOT ready for you to end.

It’s so weird how we become so connected to characters on television, in movies and in books. It’s like they become parts of our lives and when a series ends we have to say goodbye as if they were old friends. When Harry Potter came to and end I sobbed throughout the last few pages because I knew I was saying goodbye to characters who I grew up getting to know. When Charmed ended I sobbed like a baby because it was the show that I sat down to watch every single Sunday night, without fail. Now unfortunately it looks like I’ll be saying goodbye again..and at 22 it doesn’t get any easier apparently. I’ll be the first to admit I’m a huge baby. Jason asked me the other day why I cry so much when I watch One Tree Hill. The easiest answer that comes to mind is that the writers and actors did such an incredible job of making me feel like I was there too. I started watching this show during the 3rd season. I had watched it on and off for the first two but I became completely hooked at the beginning of the 3rd. That’s 7 years. That’s a long time to become hooked on Brook, Nathan, Haley and company. It breaks my heart knowing that I have 2 weeks left and then it’ll be over for good and that reruns will be my only way of remembering. Not to mention that this weeks episode absolutely devastated me. I’ve cried a lot for this show but nothing like I did today. I’ve always been a fan of Dan. He’s too good a character. He’s so good that he makes everyone hate him. What they did to his character was the only thing they could do. It was the only way to bring closure to such a strong character. Can I just add that surprising us with Keith was absolute genius?! 2 more weeks…argh.

In other news I woke up today to news of freaking AEROSMITH coming to Laval. My head exploded. Being so immersed in the music industry I get asked a lot who my favorite band is. I always say Hedley but this morning I was really thinking about it and I couldn’t choose between these two bands because they were a part of my life during two completely different times. Aerosmith was my childhood band. I grew up listening to them being blasted throughout the house by my parents and my brother. They were the very first concert I ever attended at 12. It was love at first experience. At 15 I was introduced to Jacob Hoggard and Hedley and that love affair began throughout my teens and now. It’s funny because when you really look at it, Jacob isn’t so far from Steven Tyler. Both have incredibly unique voices and are killer entertainers.  Both bands impacted my life in ways I wish I could put down in words. I’ve been waiting to see Aerosmith again since that very first time. I absolutely cannot wait until July 10th.

This summer is shaping up quite nicely!! Jason and I booked Disney for a week in May. Hedley postponed their Quebec City show for June 1st. The New Cities and Marianas Trench announced a festival in Belleville which I think I’m going to attend since my parents will be 20 minutes away in Picton at that exact time. After that we have the usual summer festivals and I’ve heard a lot of rumors out of the Hedley camp. Then to end off the summer I’ll be heading back to PEI with Jason for a week to visit my brother and just relax in my favorite part of Canada. I couldn’t be more excited.

Shipwrecked 2012

I could write pages on these last couple of days but I’ll spare you all the details.

I’m just going to sum it up by saying that it will be 7 years in July that I was first introduced to Hedley/Jake. It will be 7 years in September that I got to meet them for the very first time.Nothing has changed. My crazy love for those 4 boys is the exact same.

Jason and I were driving back from Ottawa yesterday and he turned to me and said he understands now. He understands how this is an escape for me. A chance to sing at the top of my lungs, surrounded by friends who have experienced all of this with me. A chance to dance like a fool and smile for 2 hours straight. A chance to catch a smile and feel your heart warm. I’ve had a lot of people ask my how I can see the same concert over and over again. I can ask them how they can go to the same club or bar every single weekend. It’s the same thing. Everyone has that one thing in their life that makes them happier then anything else. That one place that makes them smile more then they thought possible. Hedley does that to me.

On Monday my nerves were through the roof. I had an interview with My Name is Kay and Classified. Then I had a Hedley meet and greet. Then I had the show. Those butterflies from excitement can’t be replaced for anything in the world. The interviews went perfectly. I got to speak with two very down to earth, genuine artists who were just grateful to be a part of this tour. I also got to stand backstage and listen to I Won’t Let You Go being soundchecked. Those are moments I’ll keep locked away forever. The meet and greet was great.They know how to make every single fan feel like they’re uniquely special and that’s a talent in itself. We had great seats for the show. Right next to the catwalk, a few rows from the stage. The show in itself wasn’t my favorite of theirs. I saw a side of maturity from them that I’ve never seen before though. There was a greater number of ballads which showcased Jakes voice and a few upbeat songs to get the crowd going. I teared up during Old School. They had a slideshow of some of their past moments and I remembered almost every single one of them. It made me realize how far they’ve come and how much I’VE grown up as well. The show ended with Trip which was a great choice as well.

On Wednesday I almost didn’t go to the show. Thank God Jason pushed me. I would normally never miss a show but I’ve been feeling on and off lately and I don’t like pushing it. Somehow we snuck from the 13th row to the 2nd with some of our other Hedley family. The crowd wasn’t as amazing but for some reason I enjoyed the show more. Maybe it’s because I had the chance to dance and just be with people who understood all of it.

These past 2 days were perfect. I wouldn’t change a thing. I also wouldn’t change how I am at shows. As a girl we have a stereotype. “Groupie”. Fine label it whatever you want. Then you can also give a label to those who go to bars every weekend. Or those who love partying. Not everyone goes for the same reasons. I’ve, unfortunately, been exposed to a lot of things I never wanted to see. But I go for the music. I avoid anything else. Sometimes you build friendships. Sometimes you get to know people. It happens when you “work” in the industry and attend as many shows as I do. The difference is can you be that girl who stands out and demands respect? Or are you going to be one who believes your special because you’re easy. The choice is yours but please don’t ever think that you’re any different then any other city. I’m happy with who I am. I don’t care if I chose the harder road. I feel for those girls that need that recognition and who need to feel special if only for a couple of minutes by doing that to themselves. Maybe one day you’ll grow up enough to learn the difference.

Invincible

“Invincible is a song about surviving and overcoming adversity often times in a very underdog sense. You sit down sometimes and you feel like the whole world is coming down on you. It’s that ability to stand up and say I’m worth more than this and I’m a lot stronger then I think I am. Sometimes you need to be able to tell yourself those things and get up and close your eyes and have faith in yourself to push yourself.” – Jacob Hoggard

I had to post this quote. As someone who has been struggling for the past year, this song has become one of my escapes. When everything gets too hard and I feel like I’m crashing down I blast this song and disappear into for a few minutes. It makes me believe that I have the strength to overcome anything.

This is why this band has been a part of my life for 7 years.

QC Cancelled.

Let me clear something up right away. I’m not a heartless bitch. There.

Moving on.

I’ve been looking forward to today since November when Jenn and I woke up at 6am in Vancouver to buy our VIP package for Quebec. I got the tickets in the mail in January. Meet and Greet. Front row. Best friend. When Florida got cancelled I spent every day counting down the moments that would bring me closer to today. I made a playlist. I packed my bag. I picked up some food for the road. I booked a non-refundable hotel. I set my alarm and right before I went to bed I found out the show was cancelled. If I hear one more person say “You have to realize Jakes sick” I might scream. I want nothing more then to see him healthy. A sick Jake isn’t the same on stage. He thrives off his energy and is who he is because of it. It would break my heart to see him struggle on stage. I’d rather see him rest up and come back 100% in a few days.

That being said that doesn’t mean that I’m not devastated. I think anyone who is truly looking forward to something has every single right to be disappointed. Especially when this comes not even two weeks after I couldn’t go to Florida. It’s the whole “Out of 30+ dates WHAT are the chances?” type of thing. What breaks my heart is that I’ve been dying for a trip with one of my best friends. Just like the old days. With this show cancelled and the date being postponed it looks like there’s a good chance that she’ll be out of town when the new date comes around. I think that sucks more than anything.

Anyways I just wanted to ramble and rant a little bit.

I guess the bright side of this(if I can find someone to go with if Jenn is out of town) is that I haven’t experienced it yet. Some of it would be over by now but it isn’t because of the cancellation. So I still have it to look forward to all over again.

And so begins the countdown to the Montreal show in exactly one week….

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